We’ve all been lied to and we’ve all lied at some point in our lives.
“There is beauty in truth, even if it’s painful. Those who lie, twist life so that it looks tasty to the lazy, brilliant to the ignorant, and powerful to the weak. But lies only strengthen our defects. They don’t teach anything, help anything, fix anything or cure anything. Nor do they develop one’s character, one’s mind, one’s heart or one’s soul.” ― José N. Harris
But don’t you hate it when you uncover a liar? It leaves you feeling betrayed and hurt.
Here are Seventeen Things to Watch for:
1. Body language speaks louder than words. If the person you’re speaking to is fidgety, wringing their hands, or fiddling with their hair, these are often clues that they’re lying. Sometimes it might be nervousness because they are shy or naturally introverted; however, if the person you’re talking to isn’t known for being shy or nervous, then chances are they’re lying.
2. A liar will often cross his or her arms across their body as they speak. They may even move objects like books or cups to create a barrier between the two of you.
3. Eye contact is another thing to pay attention to when trying to spot a liar. When you’re being lied to, the other person often won’t look at you directly in the eye. They’ll look down, off to the side, and every other place just to avoid direct eye contact with you.
4. When a liar says contradictory things, it’s an obvious sign that they’re lying. Listen for discrepancies in their stories.
5. The tone of voice changes when lying. Listen for high pitched or lower tones than their normal speaking voice.
6. Liars tend to avoid details when speaking. Often they just stick to the bold facts and leave out small details in order to keep their story straight.
7. Hesitation. When talking to a liar, he or she will often hesitate in their speech while thinking up a lie to fit the occasion. This could be clearing their throat, taking a deep breath or simply pausing before responding.
8. Eye movement is another thing to look for when spotting a liar. All people naturally move their eyes, unconsciously, one way or another when they are in conversation. If a person looks to their right (your left) they are often constructing lies. If they look to their left (your right) they’re truly drawing upon their memory in response.
9. Changing the subject away from the current conversation is another clue that you’re being lied to. Often liars will fill a conversation with obscure details that detract from the topic at hand in order to avoid telling the truth.
10. No Pronouns. People who lie tend to steer away from using pronouns like ‘I’ or ‘we.’
11. Jokes. Liars will often use humor or sarcasm to avoid a subject.
12. Anger. Liars feel guilty and may storm off or act out in anger to hide their deception.
13. Fidgeting. Research shows that, when a person is dishonest, they tend to touch their nose a lot.
14. Heavy breathing, sweating or a tight jaw is another indicator that you may be lied to.
15. Inconsistancy. If questioned enough, liars won’t be able to remember all the details of a lie or string of lies they’ve told. Most liars will attack or leave before they’re caught.
16. Face Touches. Touching the face may indicate a person is lying or uncomfortable. The higher up on the face, the worse the lie is.
17. Slouching. A hunched over posture is another indication of a liar. Confident people sit up straight with their shoulder back. Insecure people sit hunched over with their hands in their pockets. It’s also interesting to note that studies have shown those who are insecure are more prone to lie.
According to some studies, deceptive lying begins as early as four or five years of age.
Children learn that they can avoid punishment by lying. If not dealt with effectively at this young age, lying can quickly and easily become a terrible habit.
“If a man, who says he loves you, won’t tell you the details of a private conversation between him and another woman you can be sure he is not protecting your heart. He is protecting himself and the women he has feelings for. Wise women simply see things as they are, not as their low self-esteem allows.” ― Shannon L. Alder
Don’t be lied to again. By learning to watch for these signs and behavioral patterns, you’ll be able to spot a liar with relative ease.
Photo: Donald Jusa