At some point or another, you’re likely to experience trust issues in your relationship. Whether it’s brought about by infidelity, a drop in your own self esteem, your partner’s newly hired young assistant, or a simple change in your partner’s behavior, your relationship can weather this storm and rise above feelings of uncertainty.
“To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.” ―George MacDonald
Tips to Solve the Trust Issues you face so you can Experience the Relationship you Deserve:
1. Work on your self-esteem. Many trust issues in relationships that were once thriving stem from personal insecurities. If you’ve experienced significant changes in your appearance or noticed a drop in your self-esteem, it’s important to build up your body image and self worth in order to rebuild the trust in your relationship.
• It’s common to become suspicious of the company that your significant other is keeping when your self-esteem plummets. The way you perceive yourself may be the only thing in your relationship that has changed.
2. Reflect on your past. Did something happen in your childhood that has caused you to become wary of trusting your heart to anyone? Did your parents choose to divorce when you were young? Were you sexually abused in the past?
• These things and more can be responsible for your inability to trust others. When you’ve endured emotional trauma, especially during your youth, its effects can last decades. Speak to a therapist to help you find the root of the issue and learn how to work past the event.
3. Talk about any indiscretions. If there has been infidelity within your relationship, it’s vital to hash out all hurt feelings and future expectations.
• If you’ve cheated, it’s normal for your partner to act clingy for a while. They’ll want to know where you are, what you’re doing, and what time you’ll be home. They’ll ask if you’ll be alone with anyone. Answer their questions truthfully and understand that they are hurting.
4. Recommit yourself to one another. Sometimes a relationship needs a sign of recommitment and devotion. Do something special together that signifies that your love can and will overcome anything.
• If you’re married, renew your vows to make it known that your love is abundant and can rise over any obstacles that life may throw your way.
• If you’re dating, go away on a relaxing day trip together and write a letter to each other exclaiming your love and devotion.
5. Spend more time together. Both you and your partner are constantly changing internally and your needs and wants are also subject to change. Ensure that you’re truly there alongside your partner to witness and be a part of those changes by devoting more time to one another.
Trust is about more than believing that your partner will remain faithful. It’s about trusting that your partner will always be there for you in times of need, while also being a prominent part of the most important events in your life.
“Relationships are mysterious. We doubt the positive qualities in others, seldom the negative. You will say to your partner: do you really love me? Are you sure you love me? You will ask this a dozen times and drive the person nuts. But you never ask: are you really mad at me? Are you sure you’re angry? When someone is angry, you don’t doubt it for a moment. Yet the reverse should be true. We should doubt the negative in life, and have faith in the positive.” ― Christopher Pike
Work on your trust as romantic partners – and as best friends – to truly guarantee a fruitful union.
Photo: Ryan Polei